28JAN09:
Q1-09 DOW: 8900
Q2-09 DOW: 7250
Q3-09 DOW: 5810
Q4-09 DOW: 3960
CITI NATIONALIZED
OBAMA GETS SICK 27AUG09:
Mini Crash 21SEP09 Predicted correctly:
Bailout=Bonuses
Demise of Bear Stearns
Demise of Lehman Bros.
Demise of AIG
Subprime would cause problems
Date of 2007 crash
CRAs were to blame
G20 riots were a party
Northern Rock run
Northern Rock Nationalization
HBOS and RBS demise
UBS really was Useless
Spending all day and night grinding my teeth to the sound of the opening and closing bells takes its toll. I have been so selfish and focused on nothing but performance for the past few years. Performance on the race track, performance of my funds, performance of my cars, performance in nocturnal activities. It is all about being better, faster and cleverer than the rest. Now the rest are running the race while I take it easy in the pit stop, I am getting closer to the real world where performance doesn't seem to feature very much.
The problem is I don't like what I see. 99% of the world is populated by, as Aldous Huxley once cited, semi-morons. Sometimes I wish I was as thick as manure for life would be easier. My complaint today is my once trusted personal assistant has a new boss and I am pa-less. It is a shocking state of affairs.
My luggage exceeded 23 KG by 1 KG and I didn't know what to do. A call to my PA and she would normal sort this sort of stuff out but alas she is no loner there so I had to take some initiative. This involved removing a pair of trusty shoes and putting them in my hand luggage. Well that is not true because my leather tumi tote was packed full so I tied the laces together and hung the shoes around my neck.
When I got on the plane they tried to push me into economy so I waved my First Class boarding card and only then was I treated as a human being and escorted to my cubicle. And that is where I am now. Up in the sky.
Spread Betting Following an exclusive interview in a German magazine with a 100,000 circulation, some rather cruel commentators who scrutinized the photographs of me in various model like poses, said I had a beer belly. I can assure you, and my personal trainer will testify too, that my stomach is so tight that dust settles in the groves. So there.
AS SUN SETS ON 2009, ARE INVESTORS BACK IN LOVE WITH HEDGE FUNDS?
Today, we learned of a recent survey of institutional investors that found just that. According to Preqin (see other interesting research from this rather prolific organization) over half of institutional investors surveyed said they invested in hedge funds for diversification purposes. The runner-up reason was “to improve the risk/return profile” of their portfolio” - another reference to the diversification properties of hedge funds.
Curiously, the survey also found that investors are now far more concerned about all issues except fund performance. This time last year, over half said that the performance record was a “key consideration when choosing a hedge fund manager.” This year, the number has fallen to a third.
Fintag says We are always loveable, even those who are retired or between hedge funds.
HEDGE FUND COUPLAND CARDIFF ASSET MANAGEMENT THREATENS TO QUIT LONDON OVER EU'S DIRECTIVE ON ALTERNATIVE INVESTMENT FUND MANAGERS
Coupland Cardiff Asset Management, a $300m (£190m) Asia-focused hedge fund, will quit its London base to set up outside Europe if the Directive on Alternative Investment Fund Managers (AIFM) goes ahead as planned.
Fintag says There are about 30 to 40 large managers, according to my sources at Simmons & Simmons, who are preparing to leave. Does anyone care? Well those who are employed do as they are likely to lose their jobs and the taxes will be paid elsewhere.
One in five hedge fund managers misrepresents their fund or its performance to investors during formal due diligence, according to New York University's Stern School of Business. Using confidential data taken from 444 due diligence reports commissioned by investors between 2003 and 2008, Stern academics analysed hedge fund managers' representations and identified “noted verification problems”, characterised as “misrepresentations or inconsistencies”, in 42% of due diligence reports.
Fintag says And I bet most of these don't have independent Administrators are so are wholly based in the USA. Given 10o% of the banks lie about their balance sheets. 20% is a good result indeed. Mind you, taking this from a DDQ is a bit silly really. DDQs are soft marketing material mostly.
53 comments
Cyclops said ...
First!
14 Oct 09 - 08:28 gmt
anonymous said ...
Miss Fintag is awful sensitive about her weight problem
14 Oct 09 - 10:17 gmt
Confused said ...
@anon: In my experience, people who give others grief about their weight are frequently porkers themselves. Or at the very least were hit rather heavily with the ugly stick as babies.
14 Oct 09 - 10:49 gmt
MsR said ...
@confused absolutely @anon 10.17 Girlfriend, sure you're not a bit lardy? Gok Wan was apparently and now he bitches about others.
14 Oct 09 - 10:54 gmt
Not another anon said ...
This year there seem to be one or two anon trolls who are just bitter about everything Fin says. Probably unemployed.
14 Oct 09 - 11:02 gmt
anonymous said ...
why would someone who is fat take the mick out of others who are fat like Miss Fintag?
14 Oct 09 - 11:21 gmt
MsR said ...
@anon Careful your low esteem and fear of early onset baldness is showing through your petticoat. What's the problem girl?
14 Oct 09 - 11:26 gmt
MsR said ...
Anyway for the last time, Fin has no paunch.I know: I use him for boxing practice.
14 Oct 09 - 11:29 gmt
anonymous said ...
So f**kwit anon,better get back to your operations job.
14 Oct 09 - 11:30 gmt
Confused said ...
@anon: They do it firstly because they're anonymous, and thus believe that they won't be outed as hypocrites, and secondly, because if were to think any worse of themselves, they'd be driven to suicide, so lambasting others diverts attention from them and onto others, whilst additionally giving them the warm fuzzy feeling that they're not alone in their chubbiness. Just off the top of my head.
14 Oct 09 - 11:45 gmt
Just visiting said ...
Apparently the word 'fat' is not allowed. And they are going to banish 'obese'. Don't you love political correctness.
14 Oct 09 - 11:46 gmt
Confused said ...
It's human nature to criticise the others for traits that we ourselves exhibit. Self-disapproval without that annoying sense of guilt and worthlessness.
14 Oct 09 - 11:49 gmt
Moron said ...
I think men can be fat ... no worries.....but a fat woman is a disaster and would be better of shooting herself now!!!!!....I ALSO MISS AOAB!
14 Oct 09 - 11:53 gmt
anonymous said ...
MsR you are constantly berating others for their bodyshape, especially British woemn..what does that say about you?
14 Oct 09 - 11:59 gmt
Confused said ...
@anon: Maybe you should take a look at one of the photos of MsR online before saying something that is utterly foolish to anyone who has already done so...
14 Oct 09 - 12:06 gmt
Moron said ...
yeah Ms R has a nice backside and very odd hair:))))
14 Oct 09 - 12:12 gmt
msR said ...
I make the kind of general comments about the English that have to do with grooming Vs say French girls. I rarely play the man as people do here but comment on cultural and physical traits.I guess as a writer that's what I do. Though you will notice I do not stand for bullying women in the public eye as many female journalists do to your own here. (See Guardian online article I did on Princess Beatrice) So context please. Curly hair Moron.
14 Oct 09 - 12:20 gmt
Moron said ...
odd curly hair:)))
14 Oct 09 - 12:25 gmt
MsR said ...
The main thing is that I would never say anything online that I would not say to your face.
14 Oct 09 - 12:32 gmt
anonymous said ...
@Moron So if you're criticising hair, you probably don't have any Moron?
14 Oct 09 - 12:38 gmt
Moron said ...
I have loads of hair Ms R...and stop posting as anonymous....one of my many talents is figuring out how ppl write....and u take a person's name twice in a sentence quite a lot.....Moron is the master of everything!!!!:))
14 Oct 09 - 12:43 gmt
MsR said ...
Aha Clouseau, I do but it was not me this time. Why don't you go figure what markets are doing:)
14 Oct 09 - 12:51 gmt
Moron said ...
the markets are just deluding themselves....eventually they will do what I expect them to do .... fall into the abyss...:)))
14 Oct 09 - 13:02 gmt
anonymous said ...
1082.4 you no-clue bear market pony
14 Oct 09 - 13:15 gmt
Moron said ...
wait and watch bi*ch!!!:))
14 Oct 09 - 13:40 gmt
anonymous said ...
that US retail sales number must hurt moron, hurt real bad bwahhhaaaabwahhhahaha
14 Oct 09 - 13:42 gmt
anonymous said ...
so only MsR is allowed to be a bitch...it's her 'job'
14 Oct 09 - 13:43 gmt
anonymous said ...
AUDJPY offered 82.05 today
14 Oct 09 - 13:44 gmt
Tembo said ...
double top at 81.7 on the Dec AUDJPY fut not regained. Disappointing consumer confidence from AUS weighing on aud...
14 Oct 09 - 14:24 gmt
anonymous said ...
tembo is aoab obv
14 Oct 09 - 14:37 gmt
anonymous said ...
spot futures...you were stopped out
14 Oct 09 - 14:38 gmt
anonymous said ...
AUD at 14 month highs today you idiot, consumer conf stats not disappointing at all! now strongest since mid 07...your ability to make a prat of yourself is unparalleled
14 Oct 09 - 14:41 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
anonymous 14.38 Yes I agree
14 Oct 09 - 14:42 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
anonymous 14.41 consumer confidence figures were disappointing. But I really don't want to have to argue as is quite pointless. 80.6 was broken and invalidated the suggested trade. I have moved onto new trades, I advise you do the same.
14 Oct 09 - 14:48 gmt
anonymous said ...
ok genuis on what metric are you saying this was disappointing?
14 Oct 09 - 14:53 gmt
Moron said ...
aoab is back.....every blog needs its resident punching bag:)))
14 Oct 09 - 15:00 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
anonymous 14.53 - Outlook for economics conditions on the five-year outlook dropped 2.6%. A measure of consumer confidence on whether now is a good time to purchase a house was also down, falling 11%, the lowest level since November 2008. I agree other numbers were up but these were down, hence my remark.
14 Oct 09 - 15:17 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
Also lets stick to the relevant points instead of childish name calling as I can do that far better than the folks here.
14 Oct 09 - 15:21 gmt
anonymous said ...
But you just call everyone a degenerate pr**k all the time. No originality in name calling, no knowledge in the markets. I am what you deem a "back office monkey", yet I still know more than you it seems.
14 Oct 09 - 15:23 gmt
anonymous said ...
i see so you base your AUD trading on the 5 yr ahead component of the westpac consumer confidence index...quite, quite bizarre
14 Oct 09 - 15:40 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
anonymous 15.23 In that case I suggest you employ your superior knowledge in the markets to your personal investing. Re: the BO, it is a key function in any finance house and if you feel inadequate about working there I suggest you take steps to rectify these feelings of inadequacy
14 Oct 09 - 16:27 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
anonymous 15.40 I don't feel compelled to justify what and how I really trade. As they are no outside investors I can buy and sell what I like
14 Oct 09 - 16:32 gmt
anonymous said ...
"outside investors"...believe me you will never find anyone stupid enough to give you thir money to run
14 Oct 09 - 16:35 gmt
anonymous said ...
"I don't feel compelled to justify what and how I really trade"...yes you really should give up on that POS blog
14 Oct 09 - 16:42 gmt
anonymous said ...
AOAB would kill for a BO job
14 Oct 09 - 16:44 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
Not really searching for outside investors. Though to get them in it's all about PR and knowing the right people. Please see Fintags link to the FT story about HF's misrepresenting the facts, all about how well you can blag money out of investors
@aoab - no need for me to rectify any feelings of inadequacy as I have none. I'm paid well and have a good job at a good fund. Oh - and I actually have a job, unlike you, you couch jockey.
14 Oct 09 - 16:53 gmt
anonymous said ...
haha aoab thinks he is a hedgie...no mate, you are a failed trader burning through your redundancy pay with a series of wrong-way bets
14 Oct 09 - 17:06 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
@BO monkey I am sure you are well paid. Many BO functions pay well especially at senior levels or if you possess an accountancy qualification
14 Oct 09 - 19:26 gmt
vanessa menzies said ...
vilar and tanaka for the high jump, who's next?....
14 Oct 09 - 19:40 gmt
artist formerly known as aoab said ...
anonymous 17.06 NO I DO NOT consider myself a hedgie...I haven't yet mastered the art of being able to lie through my teeth while putting on a show to blag money out of rich investors(suckers).
14 Oct 09 - 19:41 gmt
MsR said ...
@13.43 No sweetie. I observe the landscape around me and comment. Whereas you play the man and make spurious irrational comments about a singular person: ie: me. So, I guess the bitch isn't me. God I hate stupid people.