28JAN09:
Q1-09 DOW: 8900
Q2-09 DOW: 7250
Q3-09 DOW: 5810
Q4-09 DOW: 3960
CITI NATIONALIZED
OBAMA GETS SICK 27AUG09:
Mini Crash 21SEP09 Predicted correctly:
Bailout=Bonuses
Demise of Bear Stearns
Demise of Lehman Bros.
Demise of AIG
Subprime would cause problems
Date of 2007 crash
CRAs were to blame
G20 riots were a party
Northern Rock run
Northern Rock Nationalization
HBOS and RBS demise
UBS really was Useless
For many years, us Hedgies have pulled all the strings. We sent out signals that we were cool and that the world's best traders lived in Mayfair / CT / nice parts of LA and SF / HK. We were the only people who could double your money and allow investors to brag about how they got a subscription into an uber trendy closed fund. We set the rules for entry, management and exit. Greed was king and we milked it.
A few funds collapsed and managers like Sammy Israel ran off with the Investors monies but that was part of the ride. And then the game changed.
Bear Stearns opened eyes and then along came Dick Fcuk and his Lehman cowboys followed by madman Madoff. We underperformed, gated, suspended and frankly abused the people who had fed us for so long.
The Investors then decided the boot was on their foot and beat us up. No more 2 page news letters cobbled together after a 3 day party on a fellow hedgies boat. They wanted blood but couldn't get it. So they demanded things we couldn't deliver. Managed accounts. Exposure and Concentration reports. Basel 2. Flexible fees. No more pipes, side pockets or retrocessions. No more taking the piss.
But the boot appears to be passing back to the Hedge Funds. A few have recently closed to new investments and with rates at near zero, our returns are stellar. We are hurdling like never before and that old world word "capacity" is being talked about again.
Order is being restored. Except some will never recover like the Prime Brokers. Custody is the new king and PBs are yesterday's news. Which is a shame because while we did all the hard work, like true parasites they made the easy money.
Sorry for the delay but I was mourning the loss of some thing dear to my heart. No she didn't have blond hair or a plastic nose; my beloved dog is losing his hair in shed loads. The vet, here I come.
Arden Asset Management, the hedge fund of funds manager, said on Thursday that it had struck a deal with JPMorgan Chase to manage a $1.1 billion portfolio of hedge funds for its investment banking unit.
As part of the agreement, a team led by Shakil Riaz, the chief investment officer of JPMorgan's proprietary hedge fund of funds program since its inception in 1995, will join Arden. The plan is part of JPMorgan's overall strategy to reduce the bank's principal investments in hedge funds.
JPMorgan's asset management unit, which has its own fund of funds business that manages capital for outside clients, is not part of the deal, and the bank will continue to support that business.
Fintag says Lets get cracking on some really dull news
CHINA REITERATES CALL FOR NEW WORLD RESERVE CURRENCY
China's central bank reiterated its call for a “super-sovereign” currency and said the International Monetary Fund should manage part of its members' foreign-exchange reserves.
“To prevent the deficiencies in the main reserve currency, there's a need to create a new currency that's delinked from the economies of the issuers,” the People's Bank of China said in a review of the economy in 2008 released today.
Fintag says Oh dear. China is getting cold feet over its huge US debt holdings. Sounds like a threat to the US government. What will Obama do? Smile ...
UBS PROBLEMS TO REMAIN AFTER $3.5 BILLION CAPITAL HIKE
Investors welcomed UBS plans to raise 3.8 billion Swiss francs ($3.5 billion) of new capital but said the bank will not turn the corner until it stems client withdrawals and settles U.S. legal problems.
UBS, the world's largest wealth manager and one of the hardest-hit major banks in the financial crisis, said late on Thursday it was to place 293.3 million new shares at 13 francs with a few big institutional investors.
Fintag says More money to be poured into that big black UBS hole.
The Bank of England has issued a dire warning about the crippling taxpayer costs of the financial crisis.
Just two days after its governor Mervyn King's lacerating attack on the Treasury, the Bank warns a further, even more radical overhaul of the stricken banking system may be needed.
In its bi-annual Financial Stability Report, the Bank calculates a breathtaking £1.26 trillion of public funding has already been pledged to support the City.
Fintag says I nearly fainted there. Truly, truly shocking.
17 comments
anonymous said ...
First! On yer bike Munch you big sissy
26 Jun 09 - 11:41 gmt
Frenchie said ...
what make of dog is it? had to take my french bulldog last week - he's got demodex which makes his hair come out in chunks
26 Jun 09 - 12:06 gmt
13:45 said ...
The world of the unemployed - Have i just woken up? YES I am happy? YES Am i about to go and have a very long lunch? YES Am i planning a south american che guevara motor bike trip? YES Do i understand why people work? NO
26 Jun 09 - 12:38 gmt
anonymous said ...
Perhaps you are called 13:45 as that is your average waking time? You did forget one thing though "Have I got any money to do anything? NO"
26 Jun 09 - 12:57 gmt
Maria said ...
come on...for some things one does not need that much money...and frankly i do believe that the scheduled detailed above by 13.45 sounds appealing :)
26 Jun 09 - 13:32 gmt
Moron said ...
Maria honey....u sound appealling....I can think of a few things we can do that may/may not involve money....u get my drift:)))
26 Jun 09 - 14:18 gmt
Maria said ...
you know, I read some things about elephants last night. apparently they engage in same-sex activities, so I assumed that it was exactly what you wanted me to see and finally give up hoping about you :)
26 Jun 09 - 14:34 gmt
Moron said ...
Maria when u use the s word....something happens to my inner animal:))))
26 Jun 09 - 15:28 gmt
anonymous said ...
your inner animal is a weasel
26 Jun 09 - 15:32 gmt
Maria said ...
speaking of animals, I've seen 'home'...very beautiful images.
26 Jun 09 - 15:45 gmt
A Psycho said ...
@Maria money is all that matters!! Otherwise I would go and hug a tree in the Amazon instead of working on my s/sheets
26 Jun 09 - 16:50 gmt
Maria said ...
a psycho
I did not say money does not matter, I merely said that for some things one does not need so much money...and the ones listed as done by an 'unemployed' sound just nice and unexpensive :).
but money is not 'all that matters'. if you're not careful enough, by the time you consider you have enough money to allow yourself the luxury to hug a tree, there might not be any trees left to hug :). not that hugging a tree is my idea of spending my time out of work :)
26 Jun 09 - 17:08 gmt
anonymous said ...
Wow Maria you're boring
26 Jun 09 - 18:09 gmt
Moron said ...
Maria...u can always hug me...i look like a tree:)))
26 Jun 09 - 18:12 gmt
Gill said ...
Writer Am researching /gathering info for fictional characters involved in banking and finance. Am amused by your exchanges......keep it up and thank you!
27 Jun 09 - 11:15 gmt
Moron said ...
Gill if u r hot then keep talking and if u aint then go away:)))
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