THE FINTAG NEWSLETTER
@ Thu 11 December 2008 : GMT

FINTAG COMMENT

Cash or no cash.

I was queried yesterday. Apparently I am not sitting on cash and most hedge funds aren't. Well my response is those who aren't in cash are sitting on lots of illiquid assets. I do have some legacy positions but I need to get some perspective on the markets so I am waiting; not that my investors know - they think I am fully invested.

We have the usual index futures, some commodity shorts and a bunch of notes that we bought because we liked the seller, but if I was to say we are 60 percent cash, would I be representative of the rest of the hedge fund world? Probably not.

Hedge Funds are dishonest. The managers have hidden behind opaqueness for years; they choose the funds' boards, hire and retain yes-men administrators and spread their trades around Prime Brokers who don't see the full picture. We write bland newsletters and pretend illiquids are long term investments and complain that PB's don't know how to book the dividends on short stocks.

We are dishonest because for years the Investment Banks have been even worse.

So if I say I am in cash, take it with a pinch of salt. Hedge Fund managers don't reveal what they do because it is not in their interest. Why is it the people who talk on Bloomberg TV are just commentators? That is because traders' trade and commentators' comment. [Editor: Careful with the apostrophe's].

But enough defending. Today I am wearing a tweed jacket.

I asked, whilst dining at the Greenhouse restaurant, a couple of fellow hedgies what they were sitting on. They told me uncomfortable chairs. But what was more interesting were the number of Europeans hoovering up our cheap food and goods outside.

The UK is the Walmart of Europe.

FINTAGS CRAP BOOK UPDATE
PRESS RELEASE

The treasure hunt now begins. There are 2 copies of Fintag's Crap Cartoons - 2008 in Waterstones, Piccadilly, Mayfair. They are signed and numbered.

Good luck - try the humor section ...



And if you are in Hatchards, just along the road, have a look in the erotica section ....

Your task is to blag your way out with the book as they have been left there by accident.

BANKS UNDER THE COSH AS GBP1 TUMBLES TOWARDS 1EUR

timesFintag says
Now let me think about this. A country increases its debt substantially, increases taxes, unemployment is rising and GDP is negative. Doesn't sound like a good place to be. Add on top of this extremely low interest rates and it is not a currency you want to have. Demand falls and the value of the currency falls.

Oops. Only one thing to do to attract that hot money and stop the GBP turning into the peso - RAISE interest rates ...

guardian says " Brown's VAT cut just crass Keynesianism, say Germans "

JUSTICE FOR PENSIONERS: NINE MILLION SHOULD BE GIVEN TAX CUT ON SAVINGS

telegraphFintag says
Rioting pensioners is the last thing the UK needs. However, as I have mentioned in the past, low interest rates discourage savings and really hurt those who were responsible during the times of greed.

If was an riotous pensioner, my first task would be to burn down all real estate agents and give a good kicking to civil servants with fat pensions. But I am not a pensioner and do not have Greek blood. Us Brits are complete wimps.

times says " The bankers will die a thousand deaths "

HEDGE FUND STILL COURTING O'NEAL

financial newsFintag says
This is a publicity stunt.

CALIFORNIA BUDGET DEFICIT GROWS TO $14.8 BILLION

bloombergFintag says
So California runs out of money in Febuary. California is the Pakistan of the USA. How do these things happen? Time and time again ...



msn says " The million-dollar-home dream goes poof! "

WHERE DOES THE CITY GO FROM HERE?

independentFintag says
Well Mr Hands, as someone who is responsible for the crash (Private Equity Killed the Investment Banks), his postulations are irrelevant. The other commentators are relatively bland too. Worth a read though.

AWARDS FOR ACHIEVEMENT 2008

finance asiaFintag says
That was good for a giggle; Best Equities house - UBS!

ADVICE TO OUR HEDGE FUND FRIENDS, COURTESY OF AQR

dealbreakerFintag says
Does anybody understand or read Dealbreaker? I read it everyday but never really understand what is going on.

ftalphaville says " Hedge funds lose $64bn in November "

HEDGE-FUND COLLECTORS BROWSE COLORFUL CURRENCIES AT LUGANO SHOW

bloombergFintag says
A friend of mine runs an art gallery in Cork Street. She says the number of people coming through the door has increased ten fold. They are all Investment Banker types - except they are not buying but enjoying the free warmth instead.